For a long time, I dealt with their complaints by trying to be strict, being encouraging, or listening to their bargaining offers—”Mom, just hear me out” is Anton’s catchphrase—but finally, after more than a decade of parenting, I’ve figured out the approach that It suits us better.
Basically, I remembered this handsome guy:
like Don Draper He says, “If you don’t like what they’re saying, change the conversation.”
Now when Anton or Toby complains about something, instead of saying, “You have to!” or “Stop complaining!” or “Just do it!” I’ll change the conversation and tell them “Okay, you have to do it, but how can I help?”
Suddenly, we’re not debating whether they should do that anymore. Instead, we are all moving forward. Bonus: I also like that it puts me on their side — rather than the enemy. Now I am the one making it better, not worse.
Here’s an example: “You have to go to school, but how can I help her feel comfortable?” Then I’ll offer a few options: “Would you like to take pills in bed?” “Can I help you find your socks?” “want to play do you prefer On an outing to school? “
Another scenario: “You have to do your homework, so what will make you feel better? Do you want me to sit with you? Or have a freshly sharpened pencil? Or a glass of sparkling water?”
And third: you have to take a shower, so how can I help? Should we light a candle? You want colander to make it rain? Next, do you want to use my hair dryer to dry yourself? “
When they are older, this line of thinking will also show my children how to put up with something they don’t want to do and make the most of it. win / win.
what do you think? Have you tried this before? What other parenting tips and tricks have helped you lately? I always love love to hear…